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Ummm Hi God.  I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful godly man.  He is the answer to all my prayers and we are so happy together, with You.  But we’re struggling to stay pleasing to Your eye.  We’ve been so busy pleasing ourselves that we’ve lost sight of our very foundation.  

Please intervene.  Please take us, and break us.  Clean us up.  Make us Yours.  

You know you’re not ready for a relationship when you’re not content with just you and God.  He makes you whole, He fills the void, He is the one that makes life complete… there is no happily ever after with a human being… but there is a happily ever after with Him.  

You’re waiting for that someone who’d do anything and everything to be with you?  Jesus died and defeated death just to be with you, forever.  You’re waiting for someone to make you feel of worth, value, alive, beautiful, special, clean, whole, purposeful, and to make you feel like it’s not too late to be who you actually want to be—who you’re made to be… and who we’re made to be is who we really are.

Open your eyes and stop wishing for someone to save you from this lonely hell you’re living in.  You’ve got a Savior already and that person’s been waiting for you, trying desperately to get your attention, trying desperately to love you.  Besides, the only One that can truly love and know us for us is the One who made us.

I see God in a lot of things; not just in scripture.  

I see God in the creatures, I see God in the stars, I see God in the landscapes, I see God in love letters, I see God in the city lights, I see God in simple architecture and complex architecture,  I see God in design, I see God in traffic even, I see God in trees and plants, I see God in colors, I see God in empty pages of a journal, I see God in literature that never mentions His name, I see God in cameras, and I see God in doodles, I see God in people, I see God in behaviors, I see God in humor, I see God in delicious food, I see God in the world, I see God in the suffering, I see God in the poor, I see God in the people who are torn apart by greed and power, I see God in a bag of tea, I see God in a simple and good mug, I see God in everything that makes me think.  

God reveals Himself to me in so many ways…and maybe I’ll be the only one I realize that.  

Today… I am alive by the grace of God.  I am alive and excited to go home to see my family.  I’m excited to have fun with my friends, despite all that I suspect will hurt and stress me out… it’s little compared to what I have—a huge gift from God.  Home is a gift :).  

In one week I get to spend the weekend in Boston with a couple of best friends!

In two weeks I get to see my boyfrienddddd (still feels weird saying that)!!!  

I’m not peaceful because everything’s light and easy, great and shining.  I’m peaceful because thing’s are tougher than usual, darker than black, but my God is in control and nothing I do or fail to do will change that.  He makes ways when there is no way.  He holds me when there is no ground to stand on.  He gives me strength when I’m tired to live, to even look up.  God, you are amazing.  And when I see You, I see all that You do amidst the pain and hurt, the dry and grey.

 I love You.  But that’s nothing.  You love me.  That’s everything.

Last night… You allowed me to feel You again.  Jesus, I never want to depend on my feelings when it comes to You.  You are real whether I believe so or not.  I cannot deny your existence when I feel like it.  I cannot be upset with You for not revealing Yourself to me.  You revealed Yourself to me in a whole new way.  I can’t sit around and expect to know You more intimately.  I have to DO, act, get out there.  When I am talking about You, when I am preaching Your word, when I am loving people the way You love me…You are more real than anything in this world at those moments; I am overwhelmed by Your Spirit.  Gahhhh words cannot describe because You are so transcendent!!!  

My Love, You are incredible.